Today (1st Feb), or to be specific - some hours ago, the excos had a mini celebration for my 19th birthday. They're really so cute, I think I told the committee many many times already - that they are really very cute. It's all thanks to this group of 12 individuals that made my experience as an exco very memorable and pleasant!
It's been a long, eventful, tiring, joyful (AND SO ON) journey and of course, it isn't easy at all. Been through so many things, lessons learnt and experience gained. All the laughing, retarded moments, awkward moments, the rubbish that we come up with, the inside jokes, all the crying, the heart-to-heart talks - going through all these have made me a slightly different person I guess. I've grown, definitely. I guess being an exco really changes quite a lot of things, our perceptions, mindset, beliefs or maybe even our character (?). I would say I handle things differently now, go through a more in-depth thinking process before coming up with a decision, thinking further ahead when it comes to situations, being calm when things are not going as planned, being sensitive towards others and so on. I got to know myself better this year, got to see the other side of me which perhaps I didn't notice before I became an exco.
I remember I was really thinking and contemplating real hard, whether to submit the nomination form and to run for TPSU or not. Some of the ex-excos asked, and I remember telling them that 70% of me says 'I should run', and the other 30% says 'No'. I forgot who it was exactly, but I think it might be Brandon who said why let the other 30% affect my decision when 70% of my heart/mind tells me to go for it already. So yup, I filled up that form and decided to run in the elections of AY10/11. It seemed like a really long time ago but it's still less than a year :)
Currently, it's the 2nd of February and it's the 257th day of being a TPSU Executive Committee Member. I have never everrrrr regretted that decision of running and taking part in the election. I feel that this year is the most eventful and fulfilling period of my life so far!
When I entered the committee, I emphasized on "Listening", till date - I will still continue to emphasize on that. Listening isn't as easy as it seems, everyone can listen, but not everyone truly listens. Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak, but courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. Agree?
All 13 of us have different personalities, and we all come from different backgrounds. And it really feels good to know that you have 12 people who will be going through this whole thing with you and that you can depend on them and they will too, depend on you. As time passes, feelings develop and soon, there is this sense of belonging and togetherness. Of course, different people may feel it at different periods of time. This special group of 12 individuals have become part of my everyday life and there isn't one day so far in which I don't think about them at all. They are like my family, or rather, they are my family and I must say that I've spent more time with them this year as compared to my own family at home.
All 13 of us have our own dreams and things we hope to achieve by the end of our office term. We are all different in terms of our working and communication styles. 13 sets of different working styles placed together to get the club running and working. It is not easy. Sometimes, I really feel for them. From my seat and point of view, I see their tired faces and yet they seem to be putting on a strong front. Some breakdown, cry it all out, others vent it out using different means, and of course, some just keep it deep down within themselves and let other things bury their tiredness and, perhaps, restlessness. It's been tough, trying to be there for as many of them as I can. I know how it feels like to be so frustrated with work and all I want is for somebody to be there to listen to me rant, or just be there physically. During heart-to-heart talks, I see them on the verge of breaking down, tearing and crying before they can even start on what they want to say. And that's when I know they are really tired and that it's been tough. Then comes the saying, "Nobody said it was going to be easy. But nobody said it was going to be this tough either." I guess this is how life is, we've got to learn to adapt. It's really saddening to see my members cry, I know tough times are inevitable, but it's just so super duper heart-aching and heart-wrenching to be in a position where you try your best to be there for them, they break-down/cry and you are left wondering if you've done your part. I love every single one of them, and I know how exhausted they are. I'm exhausted too, and sometimes all we need is a pat on the back or a hug telling you that things are going to be fine and that you're doing a great job. We all are perfectionists to different extents and we want things to turn out to be awesome, but obstacles and challenges just keep surfacing and slowly, we lose our momentum and sometimes, direction. Many a times, I find myself telling and reminding myself that I have to be strong, even if it's just for show. And eventually, I find myself getting stronger. I'm afraid of many things, worried for this, worried for that, but courage is being afraid, but going on anyhow. Office term is ending, I only hope for the 13 of us to stick together and to be happy. Guess my parents will be happy too, that the term is finally ending, for now.
Haha, my mum has been complaining about the commitment level and all, but sometimes I just do not know how to let her understand how important union is to me now and how different things have become for me. I really feel like telling her every single little tiniiiiest detail about TPSU; how we run the club, what we face, what we do, our problems, our happy moments, challenges and difficulties encountered, and many more.
But it's not easy to just let someone understand how it is like being an exco just by explaining verbally, it's just not easy. From my parents' point of view, they just see me coming home late, looking cui and exhausted (sometimes), not concentrating on school work the way they want me to, staying up late to complete school work and/or union stuff, and so on. My dad even mentioned that it seems like a waste of time that I'm sacrificing so much for union. I was kinda taken aback when he said that, and I know that there was no way I could let him see all the things that the 13 of us have gone through and how tough it has been. It's like his mindset and perception were fixed. But thankfully, although they nag a little here and there still, I know they do support me and respect my role as an exco.
Parents mention things like 'why not let the others do?', 'dont hold meetings la?', 'dont meet advisors today!', 'change day/date', 'you do so many union stuffs, got time for your school work not?' etc. It's always why why why or why not why not why not. We only have 13 people running this union, this biggggg club that people look up to. We also want to have an easy way out, we want to do things the easy way and so on. But the thing is - things don't work this way. Stepping into union has made me learnt that maybe it's never so much about ourselves, it's not about "Me" all the time. Sometimes, it's about the other people. I know that people say the world is a selfish one and we all tend to think for ourselves. Then I guess it has to start somewhere, somewhere where we'll learn that in the society today, we've got to learn to be selfless from time to time. It's not about scoring good grades and topping the class all the time, sometimes it's about learning the things that cannot possibly be taught in classrooms and in all the examination papers in the world. I only hope that my parents will allow me to continue being a little selfless and let me be part of the committee serving the student body. I know it's irresponsible as a student to say that grades are not everything, I know grades are important, but really, opportunities like being in the executive committee of a students' union don't come knocking at every aspect of your life.
There are certain things in life that come by only once, and if you miss them, you miss them for life. I certainly don't want to leave TP with regrets, and therefore I'm trying my best to juggle between my studies and union.
One year ago, I have never ever imagined and pictured my student life to be like this. I don't know how differently people define the word "perfect", I know it's subjective, but I feeeeel that my life now is close to being perfect. All I know is that I'm enjoying what I'm doing and what I'm going through :)
This is soooooooo wordy, not exactly everything is posted here but yeah, just wanted to pen down some thoughts ♥
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